What's up in Summerland?

(a heart by my friend Marlee)

Hi all!  I'm back.  I know it's been awhile. Thank you all for hanging in there. A bad bipolar crash left me reeling and killed my stupendous writing skills, but I'm fighting my way back and ready to share some cool stuff with the class.

I have pretty much taken up residence on Isle of Palms this summer.  Life is a beach, after all, in case you haven't heard. I've been Instagramming up a storm.  Follow me at gapcreekgourmet.

One of my seriously wicked finds:  Haypenny gourmet Bourbon Praline S'mores kit from The Co-op on Sullivan's Island.  I scarfed every single one of these myself. And I licked the plate when I was done. Every time. (No, I did not share.)  The bag contains round homemade graham crackers, fluffy little handmade marshmallows, and both dark and milk chocolate squares. YUM! I'm getting another bag as soon as I get back to the islands.  Needless to say, Weight Watchers is on hold until school's back in.

Also I've been seriously hitting the wine selection at Piggly Wiggly.  There have been some really cool finds. I so wish we had The Pig in Greenville! If you have a Pig in your neck of the woods, keep an eye on the top shelf wine deals. I snagged this one for $11 off!

Another one of my summer addictions?  The Fosters on ABC Family.  I swear I haven't flipped over a show this much since...okay, so I'm always flipping over a new show, but I swear this one will be at the top of my list for a long time.  I love it more than Carrie Diaries, The Newsroom, True Blood.  More than Banshee. Strike Back?  That would be a tough decision. (Those gun toting guys are just so yummy to watch!)

Okay, since I'm on the topic of tv, I'm about to rock your world. Have you heard of the HeardonTV app for your phone?  My BFF told me about it at the beach and I'm hooked.  Say you are totally addicted to... The Carrie Diaries (duh!).  You download the app.  Click on the show and get to buy, listen to, or watch videos from the songs in your favorite episodes. It is totally the bomb.  And it's a free app.  Even better, right?  The website rocks too.

Speaking of shows, I just couldn't resist sharing this "What Your 90's Crush Says About You" from ThoughtCatalog.com. It was on the How Sweet It Is blog and had me in stitches.  Remember Party of Five?  (Swoon...)

July's Travelers Rest Cookbook Book Club meeting was amazing.  We are cooking out of the Smitten Kitchen Cookbook. I made these Popcorn Cookies and they are going to be appearing regularly around my house.  You basically make chocolate chip cookie dough (without the chocolate chips) and add fresh popped, buttered and salted popcorn.  They are addictive. See the easy recipe here.

Here's my favorite song this summer:

And a random amazing pic of one of the sunflowers at the Community Garden by the library on Sullivan's Island.

And before I go...

If you have a friend who struggles with depression, please keep them in your prayers. And when they are down, send them a card, give them a call, shoot them regular emails.  It's very important that they know people are thinking of them and care about them.  Even a quick text goes a long way. Thank you to all the people who took a little time to show me they were out there. It meant more than you know. And that's all I'm going to say about that right now. Maybe more later...

Happy Monday!

cupcakes, horses and food news

I just spent part of the morning making maple bacon cupcakes.  I haven't done that in a long time! It was a special request for someone's birthday and mildly therapeutic on this rainy ikky day. In the process of makin' bacon I think I ruined my favorite shirt, though.   There's a reason we have aprons right? I own like 6.  You'd think I'd learn.  (Dear brother: I need another Clemson t-shirt stat.)

Wanted: a little holiday cheer.  Mine ran away.

The Bipolar blues have reared their ugly head again. For those of you who can't relate, it's like walking through mud all day long.   It takes 100% more effort to do things like wake up and talk and walk and be a human. You pretty much want to stare at the wall until it passes and hope you don't run into anyone that wants you to be too excited to see them because the effort is just a bit too much to deal with.  That's the joy of mental malfunction folks.  It pretty much sucks.

I keep trying to think of something that would make me feel better and honestly all I can come up with is going out to the barn to cuddle the horse, so guess who's going to the barn to get horsey cuddles after I pick the child up from school?  Horse cuddles.  That's a new one for me.  My child has been a horse girl since she was born. Not me... not at all.    But I've even been thinking about actually getting on one recently.  This is a new development in my life.  I'm blaming it on listening to too much country music and watching too many Heartland episodes on DVD.

I did stop by Starbucks this morning, hoping to find a little joy in a Mocha Latte.  It was tasty, but not blissfully so. I was jonesin' for a pretzel from Bavarian Pretzel Factory, too, but they are closed on Mondays... Does anyone else find the giant white sticker they put on your Starbucks to-go cup annoying? What happened to using magic markers?  It just feels wrong.  Tainted. Sigh. (She sips on her now cold cold coffee.)

Well, did ya hear Paula Deen is coming to Greenville on Wednesday?  If I knew the line wouldn't be butt to boob, I'd go out for a chance to meet her, but I think I'll be excited from afar.  In case you want to get into the human traffic jam, she'll be at Bi-Lo at 101 Verdae Blvd  on Wednesday at 10 a.m, according to WYFF4.com  She'll be there promoting the store's efforts to stock local food banks for the holiday season.  A good cause.

One more thing.  I saw on Facebook that the Chocolate Moose (Main Street Downtown Greenville) now has their very own cupcake truck.  Will we be seeing them out there with the food trucks?  No word, but I'll keep you posted.

A GF Chocolate Chip Single Serve Cookie, Fall TV and Sunday Chatter

Pinterest saved me today. Almost two weeks into Gluten Free and today I was wanting a chocolate chip cookie so bad I could not stand myself.  An actual chocolate chip cookie. Not a "rice flour" substitute.  So my family was over for dinner and my stepmother told me about a pin she recently found for a recipe for a single serve of such cookie.  They walk out the door and I hit Pinterest for the grandest find of my week - a recipe I could tweak for a gluten-free cookie of my very own.

The original recipe was pinned from this site. Here's my tweak.

Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookie (Single Serving)
1 Tbsp butter
1 Tbsp brown sugar
1 Tbsp sugar
three drops vanilla flavoring
1/4 cup almond flour (or 1/4 cup all purpose flour for gluten eaters)
1 egg yolk
2 Tbsps 60% Ghiradelli Chips (or semisweet choc)

Mix all ingredients well in a small microwave safe bowl.  Microwave 60 seconds.  (My need 10 more seconds  depending on microwave.)  Enjoy!  (But not before it cools or you'll burn your tongue like I did.)

I'd just like to give a shout out to my mother who started the gluten free diet two weeks ago (the reason I started it too) along with going cold turkey on corn and dairy and night shades (white potatoes, peppers, tomatoes...) and she feels no back pain today for the first Sunday in years. So excited for her! She loves food as much as I do and she is being so brave and adjusting to new eating habits so well! (And I'm the one now looking for loopholes! Hahahaha!)

Homeland comes back on tonight. One of my Fall season faves.  I like that Claire Dane's character, Carrie (a CIA agent) is more bipolar crazy than I am, but at the same time it scares the hell out of me.  I was a heaping crying mess on my couch last year when she had her breakdown.  A little too close to the realm of possible in my world.  I've never had a full on in the hospital downward spiral but I sure as hell don't want to either.  I'd be watching reruns leading up to the season two premiere, but don't think I can go through the mental torture again.  Sigh. I will wait until 10 pm thank you very much.   I've got this season's first episode of ABC's series Scandal (another on the top of my must see list) to tide me over.  LOVE that show.

So, I totally broke down and put out Halloween stuff this weekend.  It started with just one box.  And then before I knew it I was flying through 8 boxes like a kid unwrapping Christmas presents.  Then I had a floor full of Halloween stuff to put away after the excitement wore of.  Oh, well. (She shrugs.) I cranked up 40's on 4 on Sirius radio and got busy. I'm now decked out for Halloween.  I'm most excited about my Halloween village.  I collect Lemax and Dept. 56 Halloween Village.  It's super cool all lit up at night and some of my pieces make creepy noises.  (That's my actual live cat, Reiki striking a pose conveniently by the pumpkin.)

Alrighty.  That's the Sunday buzz.  I'm gonna go finish my cookie and have a glass of wine.  Have a good Monday people!

Stalking my pets, apples, and Indie Craft Parade 2012

It's amazing what a little whipped cream and cinnamon can do for a cloudy morning!  Can I get an amen?

Yesterday I ventured out for a Trader Joe's and Publix run.  They've rearranged my Publix next to Furman University! I HATE it when that happens.  I decided it was a soup kind of day while I was there and ended up with a a bag full of butternut squash, sweet potatos, apple sauce and chicken broth and stock.  Oh, man!  That means I have to cook soup.

Cloudy weather makes me want to stuff face and sleep.  It also makes me what to cook things.  Like this apple cake.  Which is half gone after three days.  I DID share a little bit with friends and family, but not much. For the Gap Creek Gourmet Facebook fans who were begging for the recipe: I left the icing off, because I knew I would eat almost the entire thing myself and wanted to save the calories.  And I subbed 1/2 brown sugar for white and added 1/2 c. of Walnuts.  I have problems following a recipe...and directions for that matter.  It's a personality thing.

Am I the only person in America chomping at the bit for the political blah, blah to be over with so the good shows will come on television already?  We have CNN and HLN and Fox News and talk radio to cover that stuff... I'm not allowed (day job) to comment politically, so staying away from it so I don't get riled up is my best plan of action!  Bring on the good tv folks!  I CAN NOT WAIT for Homeland!

Moment of stupidity.  I have these often, but thought I'd share this one.  So I got ALL excited about a show previewing on TLC called Big Sexy.  So stoked.  It's about these big, bodacious women who work in the fashion industry and live in NYC. It honestly gave me something to get out of bed for on Tuesday. (One of those days.) I checked the listings. Nothing.  Checked on the computer. Nothing.  Had the husband check on the computer.  "Uh, hon, that show previewed in September 2011!" Duh.  And it was canceled after like two shows.  (My little world crumbles.)  Sigh.  And back to my normal programming...

 

In my momentary cooking frenzy on Tuesday, I also made this quinoa with the rest of my already skinned and chopped apples, some carrots and cinnamon, salt, and pepper.  Yum.   I'm a new fan of quinoa.  I used to think it looked like little bugs and popped like the tobiko on sushi.  I got over it. I think I'm going to put cinnamon in everything 'til Fall actually gets here.

I've been entertaining myself this week by taking pics of my dogs. (Can you tell he loves me, or what?! Look at that face! It just screams 'I love you mamma!')

...cats (she's not so in love with me at the moment cause she's getting shoo'ed off of my suitcase which has yet to be removed from the kitchen since I walked in from a work trip on Monday. I did at least unpack it...)

So the big plan for today is to FINALLY check out the ASADA Greeville food truck! Yea!!! The clouds in my brain seem to be clearing, and I'm on a mission!

This weekend's big adventure:  Indie Craft Parade 2012.  (That's me and my buddy acting up in last year's photo booth.  Love those!)  I look forward to this awesome art event every year.  I can't wait to see some of my favorite artists like Jimmie Lynn from Wingo Designs (who made my cupcake necklace and my little square bird necklace that I wear every. single. day.), Betsy Carr from Found*Ling (love her new Ocean Earrings!),  Teri Goddard Handweaving (I could LIVE in her soft scarves) and to FINALLY meet Johnnie from Sweeteeth!  He's a total rock star in my culinary world.

And for the rest of the weekend?  I'm making Ma Ma Plumblee's Homemade Ketchup.  It's not really ketchup... more like a relish, but that's what we called it and we used to dump spoonfuls of the chunky tomatoey goodness on top of the beans she made for Sunday lunch.  No one in the family has had any for years so they are salivating impatiently.  Thankfully, my Aunt Marlene reminded me to get my junk together and make some before the last tomatoes went bye-bye.  So we're on it!

What do you have planned for this weekend?  If you're in the Upstate, it better be inside or involve an umbrella! 50% chance of rain on Saturday.  Great day for cooking.  Not so good for being outside!

Cola, crush and crashing.

I spent last Friday rambling around Columbia.  I've become quite fond of SC's capital city. I played with the Lorikeets at the zoo in the morning for work and then went to meet Ed, the giant kid at Edventure in the afternoon (also for work).  You can crawl inside him, check out his brain, his stomach and slide out his colon.  (I saved that treat for my next visit.)   

I met fellow food blogger April Blake at the Hunter Gatherer Brewery and Alehouse for lunch (Nice vibe, but I can't rave about the Mac n Cheese, though I was so hoping...).  April and I have chatted it up on Facebook for a while now so I thought we should actually do the face to face thing.   I've met some really awesome people through Facebook and blogging. She is rad! Follow her blog! 

How have I never seen this? I don't think I've watched videos since before MTV abandoned the format. Thanks to one of my buddies at Friday night's girls night in Columbia, I am newly obsessed with this video and Mr. JT.  

Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around...C by LIMIT-AR

I put some crazy mileage on the car this weekend meeting friends!  After coming back home for long enough to get a shower and kiss the hubs and child, I was back in the car bound for Spartanburg for a homemade Empanadas lesson and to catch up time with my Argentinian friend.  (Love ya X!  Thanks for the lesson!  I wish I had brought some home!)

There was not enough time in my Sunday to recoup from my Weekend o Girls' Nights. I made this Fig and Gorgonzola Crisp from the How Sweet It Is blog before my figs went bad.  So yum but REALLY rich...

 and managed to get some sit down time to watch Hunger Games.  Our friend was a prop guy on the movie, so we were excited to see what he had been doing for months and months.  We also watched the season finale of True Blood.  I wanted to squeeze in The Newsroom too, but didn't happen.  I'll be so bummed when I finish the season finale of that one. I really, really love it.  Scandal (another one of my top pics) and Boardwalk Empire and Walking Dead will all be on again soon, so at least there will be something to tide me over til Girls starts in January.

On the health front... I am now allergic to air.  I'm kidding.  But I have been itching in random places all over my body for the past two weeks (like fleeting hives) so I'm not ruling it out.  My doc thinks I'm now allergic to my bipolar meds. Yeah... expect a breakdown post soon. Today I was doing good to stay vertical.

BUT the fact that Snapfish sent me a nice email with news of their SocialPic Book did provide me with a moment of excitement!  I can't wait to get on there and play.  But first, I must work.  Real work.  The kind I get paid for.  And get ready for an event tonight, but oh how my bed calls...

Ta y'all.

Overfeeling: my bipolar superpower.

An editor emailed me an assignment to cover a child abuse awareness campaign and I had to turn her down. Another little happy piece to this bipolar thing is overfeeling.  I’m a sponge when it comes to other’s suffering.  It’s like empathy times twenty, which can be a blessing, but it can also suck pretty bad. 

Because of it, I have to be careful what I put in my head: what movies I watch, what tv shows I see (no CSI: SVU for me), what I get involved in.  Extreme violence, rape, human suffering, torture… all still with me like gum on my shoe and roll through my brain like a VCR (remember those?) stuck on rewind and play.  I have extremely vivid daydreams (another nasty piece), and carry people’s problems around with me like they were my own.

(Because of it, I also am hurt easily.)

BUT even in my weird, quirky broken state, I think God finds a way to use me.  Because I am an overfeeler, I often find myself fluffing out my angel wings as a rescuer.  I am a perpetual matchmaker and fixer…often sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong, but thankfully, trusting that God leads me to the right person at the right time.  The thing is, over feeling also lets me love deeply– my friends, my family, strangers, probably more so than regular people.  And I’ve found a way to turn what could be an extremely good reason to detach from human relationships into a super power. 

It doesn’t always work out and I walk a fine line daily between self-preservation and fluffing my angel wings, between shutting people off and pulling them too close, but for the times it does pan out, I can fold my wings in with a happy prayer and know that I was able to use my crazy for some good in the world.  

outrunning the cloud.

A month or so ago, I decided to include posts about my battle with bipolar disorder on the blog. It's an incredibly real part of my life and I know there are people out there that can relate, so just as you read quirky posts about my food adventures, I hope you will also read these and somehow get a new perspective on what it's like for the people around you who struggle with this.  Here's another post.

Some days being bipolar is exhausting.  This morning, I spent the whole time I was getting a shower and getting dressed convincing myself that it was okay to leave the house. What if there was a terrorist attack or an earthquake or something and I couldn't get home?  What if I got sick while I was out in public? (My worst fear ever.)  What if something happened and I couldn't drive?  I had to work my way through a million fears before I assured myself that I would be okay and I would indeed find my way safely home again.  Getting over the panic sort of feels like climbing your way up a steep hillside... the kind where you have to hang on to trees, or pulling yourself out of a dirt hole...   It's mentally exhausting, but today I had things to do.  It wasn't an option to go back to bed or sit on the couch cuddling with my dog (he's cute, huh?) and cleaning off the DVR.

I jerked myself up by my bootstraps, fixed my to-go cup, and took two excited little girls out to the Children's Museum.  The to-go cup is my thing.  It's my security blanket.  I don't know why.  It's just my coping mechanism thing. Actually today, I had two: coffee in a Starbucks cup and water in my Tervis.  I do the to-go cup thing in style.  I need a car with more cup holders.

Mild agoraphobia is a part of the bipolar deal for me and it is incredibly inconvenient.  I like to stay on the go, I like adventures and new experiences... so being afraid to leave the house some days is a bit problematic. I don't talk about it much. I've sort of learned that the more I give into it, the bigger the problem gets.   I'm fortunate to have figured out mostly how to live around the crazy little parts of myself and I've come to know they are only the tiniest pieces of me thrown in with a whole bunch of other ginormous and stupendous things.  

The bread, the shrink and the cat that ate my roses.

Yesterday, I popped into Great Harvest Bread Co. on Woodruff Road in Greenville after visiting my shrink. The smell of yeast, and wheat flower and butter and cheese and oil overwhelmed my senses as I walked in the door.  Bread had just come out of the oven, and in my normal style I walked up to the counter and said, "I'm a new customer!  What's good? Tell me about this place."

The lady's eyes lit up and I was led to a wood block full of freshly baked samples of bread.  "We grind our own wheat here," she said and handed me big chunks of Nine Grain bread and Asiago Pesto loaf.

The Nine Grain is heavy and meaty and rich, with a slight sweet earthiness.  The Asiago is... I have no words. Wow. The inside is swirled with pesto.  Lots of amazing pesto and topped with asiago cheese.

I walked out with heavy loaves of each and before I had finished my errands the car was filled with this amazing smell. (I molested the bread sufficiently when I got home.) Like Great Harvest Bread Company- Greenville, SC on Facebook for fresh baked updates.

Next topic.  (Don't get whiplash.)

So when I started this blog my friend and mentor Gil told me I should talk about the fact that I'm bipolar.  It's a weird mental disease, but I embrace it and get on with life.  Don't get me wrong, it is a pain in the ass, but it's only one piece of who I am... a piece you might be able to relate to, but if you aren't close to me, you might not know, so I'm sharing.

I was working at an ad agency when the first big depressive episode hit me.  In my craziest manic phases, I had the strength of superwoman.  I'd rearrange the entire house before my husband could come home from work.  I ran up our credit cards. I obsessed over things (more than usual). I talked incredibly fast, moved fast and couldn't sit still. I wore my friends completely out.  In the lowest of lows, I couldn't get out of bed.  Sound and light bothered me. There was no happiness left in the world.  It was bad.  I cried a lot.

During one of these really down times, my husband had had enough. He felt so helpless. He picked me up, threw me in the car and took me to the doctor.  They prescribed something for depression... basically slapping an Rx bandage on me, so I could snap out of it.

In my late twenties the ups and downs were getting worse. Back to the doctors, but this time, we did it right: psychiatrist, general practitioner and a counselor.  It was no shock that I was bipolar.  I think the psychiatrist said something like, "I'm as sure you are bipolar as I am that it is raining outside." (It was raining.)

I take my meds religiously.  They are not optional. Ever. I have found good doctors that monitor my mental and physical health closely.  I pay really close attention to myself.  I know my triggers and I've learned some self-coping mechanisms.

Point being.  Yep, I'm nuts.  It's fine.  I embrace it. It comes with a lot of other things, too, like this amazing creative side that allows me to make things and write and get excited about the tiniest thing that other people wouldn't notice. Sometimes it knocks me out of commission for a day or so, but it's temporary and people have much worse problems.   Got a story you want to share?  Shoot me an email.

Enough of that.

Here's my cat. One of them.  I have two.  She is cussing me out with her eyes because I made her quit eating my roses.  She thinks I bought them for her. I didn't.  I got them for myself for my birthday. Why do cats love roses so much?

I'm off to read another chapter in The Amateur Gourmet... and do something with this house of mine.
Have a good day! Thanks for letting me share.